Sophistication is one of my favorite terms. When I think of the woman I strive to be, this is the ultimate quality that comes to mind. In this short video, I discussed some of the foundational ways in which you can become a sophisticated woman. The goal was not to go extensively in depth, but rather start the conversation. 

Talking about classiness, being ladylike and acting elegantly, are all common topics in the online femininity-sphere. However, seldom few people talk about sophistication. In my opinion, sophistication truly embodies all of these themes yet also connotes a certain element of "levelling-up". When you think of the sophisticated woman you may picture a well-rounded and multidimensional individual.

The following tips are extracted from the video to help you better comprehend some of the things I discussed. Please hit the LIKE button on the video, since it really helps the channel. *In this video I give a shout-out to one of my favorite femininity channels, Inner Beauty TV by Nicole Michelle, who inspired me to talk about Sophistication.

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Childishness

I have already talked at length about the difference between child-likeness and childishness, particularly in my "Feminine Innocence" video. Fascinating Womanhood is another femininity resource that does an excellent job at comparing the two. As sophisticated women, we want to preserve our feminine innocence, but we do not want to be naive like children.

Take the time to evaluate if you are still carrying negative emotional baggage from your childhood or if you possess narcissistic traits, all things that might impede your ability to level-up as a sophisticated woman. I'd also encourage you to think about your wardrobe, your interests, the thing that you say, and ask yourself if you have evolved from childhood. I gave the example of wardrobe; if you're still dressing like you did in 1999, you might want to make some changes. Ask yourself the following question when evaluating your tendencies: "Are you living an extended adolescence?"

Critical Thinking

This is another point that I often preach on my channel. The sophisticated woman is able to look at phenomena/occurrences and the world around her, and is able to question opinions and events. You also want to learn to identify the underlying motives of others by studying basic psychology. This is going to help you develop your mind and emotional resilience, and will enhance your ability to sustain interesting conversation with others.

Worldly

We often associate the sophisticated woman with higher-education. You don't need to attend a prestigious Ivy League school or have multiple degrees, to develop your intelligence. Make sure that you understand things about the history of your country, then you can progress to exploring other cultures etc. based on your interests. This will again enhance your ability to have sophisticated conversation. 

Social

I want to encourage you to "take the middle road" when it comes to expanding your social circle. What I mean by this, is that I encourage you not to rid yourself of your former friends are you begin levelling-up as a sophisticated woman, because this will impede your feminine ability to nurture relationships.

Another point I made, is that you want to be weary of "the hot girl effect"; you will not be able to surround yourself with like-minded sophisticated people if you are afraid of being friends with people whom you think are better than you in a particular way. Challenge yourself to become more sophisticated, by surrounding yourself with admirable people while also recognizing that you should continue to nurture your original friendships.

Conversation

As women, we have a negative tendency to gossip and/or "trauma-bond" with others. The sophisticated woman refrains from doing this and instead focuses on positive aspects of conversation. The sophisticated woman is always seeking to improve herself in her relationships. This isn't attainable when we are continuously focusing on the negative. When you eliminate the negative in conversation, you will be challenged to think of new discussion topics. This will therefore push you in the direction of self-improvement and therefore greater sophistication.

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I hope you enjoyed another video summary! Stay tuned for more in the up-coming days!

What is Femininity?

Hello lovely friends,

Since we are all on a "quarantine break" for the next few weeks, I thought I'd take some time to summarize a few of my videos and put them into blog form. I will be adding different bits of information in both the video and written forms, therefore I hope that you check out both!

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The inspiration for this particular video came from a negative comment that I received, where the reader was propelled to defend femininity as singular to every.particular .woman. Hear me out, it is quite common to see a feminine woman and think that her femininity is unattainable. My goal with this video however, was to explain to you that thereexists a set of definite characteristics associated femininity, reachable for every woman. After all, there wouldn't be a point in teaching femininity if these qualities could not be defined. Read the entire post or watch the video, to truly understand what I mean.

I want you to remember that femininity exists on a type of "range"; in other words, a "spectrum". The opposite of the feminine is the complementary masculine. Think of the color wheel: complementary colors are neither good nor bad, they are simply opposites. Understanding masculinity can better help you understand your own femininity.  A caveat to this is that masculinity and femininity occasionally have overlapping qualities. The difference however, is in the way in which they are enacted/applied. For example, a feminine woman shows confidence in her ability to nurture, whereas a masculine man shows confidence in his ability to lead. Moreover, the feminine might apply a similar quality through the process of doing, yet the masculine would be more focused on an end-goal.

Many women confuse femininity and personality, which is where I believe stems the p.o.v of the commentor. The truth is that you can be similarly feminine to another woman due to the fact that you might possess the same feminine characteristics. The difference lies in your personality, which is the root of the misconception outlined in the beginning. In the video, I used the example of collaboration to illustrate this. We can all possess the feminine trait of collaboration, yet apply it in different contexts based on our personalities. For example, my personality is best suited to collaborate with you through my YouTube channel because I enjoy public speaking, however your application of collaboration may be better expressed in written form. We are both similar in that we possess this feminine trait, yet we differ in our contextual application. Personality and femininity are correlated, but neither is entirely causally linked.

I encourage you to think of developing your femininity similar to the way in which you solve a math problem. There will be one specific answer - equal to the desired feminine trait - however the way in which you solve the math problem will differ; the manner by which you apply this feminine principle in your life may vary. There are thousands of ways that we can live out our feminine traits, however there is an finite end; the possibilities are not endless since we are dealing with worldly concepts, therefore femininity is not inherently uniquely owned by any particular individual.

To conclude, I wanted to touch upon a more socially relevant aspect of misunderstanding in femininity as distinguishable from personality: the "not like other girls" vibe/phenomena/attitude, whatever you want to call it. The overall desire for uniqueness infiltrates our society, to the point that women feel ashamed of being similar to each other; as if there is something inherently wrong with the way in which we express ourselves in a parallel manner with other women. Sadly, we see this pushed in our schools, applauded in society, and depicted in popular media. This message is detrimental to your plight in developing your femininity, because you cannot fully embrace femininity if you are worried about being "like other girls". 

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The goal of this video was to inspire you to understand that femininity is achievable for all women. It is easy to be discouraged on your journey to developing your femininity, as you may easily fall into the comparison trap. That being said, I hope that this video, and my platform can help you feel less shame in embracing your femininity, even if this makes you "like other girls". Until next time!